New Fic: A Frightening Halloween
Oct. 28th, 2007 03:56 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
princessacadra.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
mag7fansTitle: A Frightening Halloween
Category: Delinquent AU, pre-series (aka Little Ezra "Delinquent" AU)
Characters: Ezra, mentions of Maude
Rating: R (for subject matter)
Warnings: Mentions of CHILD ABUSE (if you know my series you know what type of abuse; it is not graphic), profanity, animal abuse, TISSUE WARNING
Summary: For the HALLOWEEN/HORROR 2007 challenge (is there anything to link it too?) - it is both horrifying and about Halloween. Little Ezra reflects on Halloween and what he would like to be.
A Frightening Halloween
“Is everyone going trick-or-treating this year?” There was a chorus of “yes” that was almost deafening and Ezra thought that everyone else had answered but him. Because Ezra didn’t know if he was going or not. Mrs. Buzzard – who was really nice and not like a buzzard at all – began asking everyone what they were going to be dressing up as and when she got to Ezra she smiled and her voice seemed to quiet just a bit as she asked, “What are you going to be going as?”
Ezra took a breath. “A monster.” No one could hurt a monster, right? They were big and scary and they lived alone and no one could touch them.
“Oh! What kind of monster?”
“A big scary green monster.” He thought about it for a moment. “Like a di-no-saur.” The word was pronounced carefully to make sure he said it correctly. Last year Ezra had been a puppy dog like in the Dalmatian movie and he’d been white with black spots and he’d had on spotted gloves and floppy black puppy ears. Mama had painted his face white with black spots and he’d had a tail and everything.
They’d all gone out – him and mama and daddy. Ezra had liked daddy. He’d gotten down on the floor with him when he was running around barking and given him puppy treats, but they’d really been animal crackers, the cinnamon ones that he really liked. Daddy had worn puppy ears, too, and so had mama. They’d gone door to door and Ezra had carried the big pumpkin he was collecting candy in for a while until it got too heavy then mama had carried it. After that it got too heavy for mama so daddy carried it.
Ezra didn’t eat even half of the candy they collected that night and even with all three of them they never finished it off. It had been a lot of fun, though. But that was last year and daddy was gone – he wasn’t really Ezra’s daddy, anyway, or so mama said. He’d never been mean to him, though. He never yelled or scared him and he didn’t give mama that stuff that made her sleep all the time.
This year Ezra didn’t think he would be going trick-or-treating. No one mentioned it and Ezra didn’t ask. Ezra thought it would be scary going to kindergarten, but that was before when daddy was at home and they lived in the other house that was far away. Now Ezra thought it might be better if school was all the time and he never had to go home. Maybe mama could visit sometimes and then it would be okay.
If he just didn’t have to go home.
Ezra liked recess because he could run and make noise and play tag. When he was home he was quiet because mama would be asleep because she always slept now and he would be there. So he was quiet. Because maybe he would forget Ezra was there.
Pup-Pup had gone to stay with daddy. Ezra had called him because Pup-Pup kept peeing on the floor because he was scared. Then he would throw Pup-Pup and say he was going to break his fucking neck because the goddamned dog was always pissing on the floor. So daddy had taken Pup-Pup and Ezra wasn’t allowed to use the phone anymore even though he hadn’t told daddy why he wanted him to take Pup-Pup, just that he didn’t want him anymore.
“I’m going to get lots of candy!” Amy, a girl who sat across from Ezra whispered, a smile on her face. “How much do you think you’ll get?”
“I don’t know. Lots and lots.” At least that’s what Ezra had gotten last year. All Ezra knew was that he didn’t want to be a puppy this year for Halloween. Puppies could be hurt. They could be hit. Or thrown into walls. They tucked their legs up close to their body when they were grabbed by their neck and shaken really hard. Ezra didn’t ever want to be a puppy again.
This year maybe if he was a monster it would be okay. He would be big and strong and it wouldn’t have to be bad. Maybe daddy would come to see him and mama would be okay and not sleep so much and he wouldn’t have to hide in his closet in the space between the boxes where it was dark.
No one was awake when Ezra got home and that was okay. He could sit under the porch and read while there was still light, but he would have to go in sometime. Mrs. Buzzard had said that Ezra was really smart and that it was a good thing and that he was reading books older kids could read. Ezra didn’t know about any of that. He knew he could read by himself and that books always had good endings and even if the puppy was scared that it would end up not being bad and whatever scared the puppy wasn’t really scary. If Ezra lived in a book that’s how it would be, too. Only he didn’t live in a book.
He said Ezra was a smart little boy, too. Only Ezra didn’t like it when he said it. He said that Ezra was smart because he wouldn’t tell. That he would hurt mama or Ezra if he told because he couldn’t hurt Pup-Pup anymore because he was safe with daddy. Ezra wanted to be with daddy. Daddy never hurt him or asked him to keep secrets, but he said that he didn’t hurt Ezra on purpose. If Ezra was a better boy, if he wasn’t so loud, if he didn’t move so fucking much when he was touching him that it wouldn’t hurt. That it was Ezra’s fault.
It was Ezra’s fault because he was bad. That it was Ezra’s fault that mama slept all the time and needed the powder and the needles that Ezra hated. So he tried really hard to be good. He tried to be quiet and he didn’t tell. He didn’t say he was hungry or ask to watch any shows. Ezra didn’t ask anyone to read to him and he was doing better so he could read to himself. Ezra never tracked dirt in the house. He didn’t get sticky candy on the carpet.
It was never enough. He was never good enough. Mrs. Buzzard said he was a good boy and that he did very well. Ezra had heard her say to one of the other teachers once that he was really shy like the book about the kitten. Ezra thought maybe that was why he couldn’t be good enough because the little kitten was scared of a lot of things. So Ezra tried not to be shy and he tried to be friendly and he tried not to be afraid.
But Ezra was afraid and sometimes he didn’t want to talk at all.
When it started to get dark Ezra went inside very quietly. Sometimes mama made food and put it in the refrigerator for Ezra to eat later and sometimes she forgot. She was forgetting a lot lately. There were little packets of crackers in one of the drawers, though, and Ezra got some of those to eat.
Trick-or-treat came and went without Ezra. There was no costume or candy. There were no pumpkins on the porch with funny faces.
The sound of the TV made Ezra jump and he wanted to creep away and hide, but he heard, “Ezra, is that you? Come here!”
He was scared. He didn’t want to go, but it was worse when he didn’t. If he was bad it was worse and it was all Ezra’s fault. So he went into the living room where he was sitting. Ezra didn’t want to sit on his lap, but when he patted his knee Ezra crawled into his lap. Ezra didn’t squirm when he touched Ezra’s leg or when his fingers slid up under his shirt and brushed against his stomach.
“Are you going to be a good boy tonight?”
“Yes daddy.” He wasn’t Ezra’s daddy and Ezra didn’t like to call him that, but it was better when he called him daddy because he liked that.
Ezra thought that maybe it was better that he wouldn’t be going trick-or-treating this year. Mama wouldn’t go because she was sleeping and he didn’t want to go with him. Maybe he could still be a monster, though. Monsters weren’t scared of anything so he didn’t have to be scared anymore. They didn’t care when someone touched them and they didn’t like it. They didn’t feel anything when it hurt. They didn’t cry because no one would hear them anyway.
Ezra would be a monster and maybe he could be a monster all the time and not just at Halloween. Because monsters were stronger than anything else.
-The End-
Category: Delinquent AU, pre-series (aka Little Ezra "Delinquent" AU)
Characters: Ezra, mentions of Maude
Rating: R (for subject matter)
Warnings: Mentions of CHILD ABUSE (if you know my series you know what type of abuse; it is not graphic), profanity, animal abuse, TISSUE WARNING
Summary: For the HALLOWEEN/HORROR 2007 challenge (is there anything to link it too?) - it is both horrifying and about Halloween. Little Ezra reflects on Halloween and what he would like to be.
A Frightening Halloween
“Is everyone going trick-or-treating this year?” There was a chorus of “yes” that was almost deafening and Ezra thought that everyone else had answered but him. Because Ezra didn’t know if he was going or not. Mrs. Buzzard – who was really nice and not like a buzzard at all – began asking everyone what they were going to be dressing up as and when she got to Ezra she smiled and her voice seemed to quiet just a bit as she asked, “What are you going to be going as?”
Ezra took a breath. “A monster.” No one could hurt a monster, right? They were big and scary and they lived alone and no one could touch them.
“Oh! What kind of monster?”
“A big scary green monster.” He thought about it for a moment. “Like a di-no-saur.” The word was pronounced carefully to make sure he said it correctly. Last year Ezra had been a puppy dog like in the Dalmatian movie and he’d been white with black spots and he’d had on spotted gloves and floppy black puppy ears. Mama had painted his face white with black spots and he’d had a tail and everything.
They’d all gone out – him and mama and daddy. Ezra had liked daddy. He’d gotten down on the floor with him when he was running around barking and given him puppy treats, but they’d really been animal crackers, the cinnamon ones that he really liked. Daddy had worn puppy ears, too, and so had mama. They’d gone door to door and Ezra had carried the big pumpkin he was collecting candy in for a while until it got too heavy then mama had carried it. After that it got too heavy for mama so daddy carried it.
Ezra didn’t eat even half of the candy they collected that night and even with all three of them they never finished it off. It had been a lot of fun, though. But that was last year and daddy was gone – he wasn’t really Ezra’s daddy, anyway, or so mama said. He’d never been mean to him, though. He never yelled or scared him and he didn’t give mama that stuff that made her sleep all the time.
This year Ezra didn’t think he would be going trick-or-treating. No one mentioned it and Ezra didn’t ask. Ezra thought it would be scary going to kindergarten, but that was before when daddy was at home and they lived in the other house that was far away. Now Ezra thought it might be better if school was all the time and he never had to go home. Maybe mama could visit sometimes and then it would be okay.
If he just didn’t have to go home.
Ezra liked recess because he could run and make noise and play tag. When he was home he was quiet because mama would be asleep because she always slept now and he would be there. So he was quiet. Because maybe he would forget Ezra was there.
Pup-Pup had gone to stay with daddy. Ezra had called him because Pup-Pup kept peeing on the floor because he was scared. Then he would throw Pup-Pup and say he was going to break his fucking neck because the goddamned dog was always pissing on the floor. So daddy had taken Pup-Pup and Ezra wasn’t allowed to use the phone anymore even though he hadn’t told daddy why he wanted him to take Pup-Pup, just that he didn’t want him anymore.
“I’m going to get lots of candy!” Amy, a girl who sat across from Ezra whispered, a smile on her face. “How much do you think you’ll get?”
“I don’t know. Lots and lots.” At least that’s what Ezra had gotten last year. All Ezra knew was that he didn’t want to be a puppy this year for Halloween. Puppies could be hurt. They could be hit. Or thrown into walls. They tucked their legs up close to their body when they were grabbed by their neck and shaken really hard. Ezra didn’t ever want to be a puppy again.
This year maybe if he was a monster it would be okay. He would be big and strong and it wouldn’t have to be bad. Maybe daddy would come to see him and mama would be okay and not sleep so much and he wouldn’t have to hide in his closet in the space between the boxes where it was dark.
No one was awake when Ezra got home and that was okay. He could sit under the porch and read while there was still light, but he would have to go in sometime. Mrs. Buzzard had said that Ezra was really smart and that it was a good thing and that he was reading books older kids could read. Ezra didn’t know about any of that. He knew he could read by himself and that books always had good endings and even if the puppy was scared that it would end up not being bad and whatever scared the puppy wasn’t really scary. If Ezra lived in a book that’s how it would be, too. Only he didn’t live in a book.
He said Ezra was a smart little boy, too. Only Ezra didn’t like it when he said it. He said that Ezra was smart because he wouldn’t tell. That he would hurt mama or Ezra if he told because he couldn’t hurt Pup-Pup anymore because he was safe with daddy. Ezra wanted to be with daddy. Daddy never hurt him or asked him to keep secrets, but he said that he didn’t hurt Ezra on purpose. If Ezra was a better boy, if he wasn’t so loud, if he didn’t move so fucking much when he was touching him that it wouldn’t hurt. That it was Ezra’s fault.
It was Ezra’s fault because he was bad. That it was Ezra’s fault that mama slept all the time and needed the powder and the needles that Ezra hated. So he tried really hard to be good. He tried to be quiet and he didn’t tell. He didn’t say he was hungry or ask to watch any shows. Ezra didn’t ask anyone to read to him and he was doing better so he could read to himself. Ezra never tracked dirt in the house. He didn’t get sticky candy on the carpet.
It was never enough. He was never good enough. Mrs. Buzzard said he was a good boy and that he did very well. Ezra had heard her say to one of the other teachers once that he was really shy like the book about the kitten. Ezra thought maybe that was why he couldn’t be good enough because the little kitten was scared of a lot of things. So Ezra tried not to be shy and he tried to be friendly and he tried not to be afraid.
But Ezra was afraid and sometimes he didn’t want to talk at all.
When it started to get dark Ezra went inside very quietly. Sometimes mama made food and put it in the refrigerator for Ezra to eat later and sometimes she forgot. She was forgetting a lot lately. There were little packets of crackers in one of the drawers, though, and Ezra got some of those to eat.
Trick-or-treat came and went without Ezra. There was no costume or candy. There were no pumpkins on the porch with funny faces.
The sound of the TV made Ezra jump and he wanted to creep away and hide, but he heard, “Ezra, is that you? Come here!”
He was scared. He didn’t want to go, but it was worse when he didn’t. If he was bad it was worse and it was all Ezra’s fault. So he went into the living room where he was sitting. Ezra didn’t want to sit on his lap, but when he patted his knee Ezra crawled into his lap. Ezra didn’t squirm when he touched Ezra’s leg or when his fingers slid up under his shirt and brushed against his stomach.
“Are you going to be a good boy tonight?”
“Yes daddy.” He wasn’t Ezra’s daddy and Ezra didn’t like to call him that, but it was better when he called him daddy because he liked that.
Ezra thought that maybe it was better that he wouldn’t be going trick-or-treating this year. Mama wouldn’t go because she was sleeping and he didn’t want to go with him. Maybe he could still be a monster, though. Monsters weren’t scared of anything so he didn’t have to be scared anymore. They didn’t care when someone touched them and they didn’t like it. They didn’t feel anything when it hurt. They didn’t cry because no one would hear them anyway.
Ezra would be a monster and maybe he could be a monster all the time and not just at Halloween. Because monsters were stronger than anything else.
-The End-
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