[identity profile] princessacadra.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] mag7fans
Title: Substitute Dreams - chapter five
Category: Delinquent AU (aka ATF Teen AU)
Characters: Vin, Ezra, Buck/Chris
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slash, mentions of child abuse
Summary: Sequel to "Delinquent" part of the Delinquent Universe which is a spin off of Mog’s ATF universe. Ezra has joined the Larabee/Wilmington/Tanner household. Life with Ezra is anything but dull.

"Chapter One", "Chapter Two", "Chapter Three", "Chapter Four"



Chapter Five

That night Buck found himself rudely awaken when Chris suddenly bolted out of bed. Buck took a few moments to stretch and waken up and patted the space beside him to confirm that, yes, Chris had just jumped out of bed. When Chris didn’t return after a few minutes Buck dragged himself up and stumbled toward the door where Chris was pressed, their door cracked open just slightly.

“Chris?”

”Shh.”

Buck leaned against Chris and fell silent, his eyes closing partly because it was still damn late – or early – and he was tired. That’s when he began to hear it: “Ezra, Ezra wake up. It’s okay, Ezra, you’re just dreaming. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

They stood there for a moment listening until they heard Vin return to his own room and Buck nudged Chris back to their bed. “I can’t sleep now.”

“You’re going to have to try,” Buck muttered back. “I know it’s not easy, but at least he’s talking about it to someone.”

Chris’s eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. “But you heard what he said.”

“I did and there’s nothing we can do about the past. Now, the future, at least part of it, we can help with. Now go to sleep.”

#t#

Vin was having trouble sleeping and for a while he wondered if it was just him because there was a lot on his mind. Then he heard it – it sounded almost like a puppy whining and he turned toward Sam whose head was turned toward the dark hallway. Sam’s tags jingled as she looked back at Vin and opened her mouth and whined softly then fixed her eyes back on the hall and subsequently Ezra’s room.

He pushed back the covers and crossed the room and hall to stand in Ezra’s doorway listening to the soft sounds of distress as the other boy twisted and turned. Some of the sounds Ezra made were muffled words and cut-off pleads against an invisible enemy. “Ezra. Ezra, wake up.” Vin continued to call out quietly until the sounds stopped and Ezra was still for a moment. When he sat up Vin said, “It was just a dream, Ezra. You can go back to sleep.”

“Vin?”

“Yeah.”

Vin started to turn back to his own room when he heard Ezra whisper, “I wasn’t dreaming about him. I know he’s dead.”

“Was there someone else?” The question was out before Vin could stop himself. He hadn’t meant to ask and he didn’t want to pry, but did Ezra want to tell him? After all, Ezra had offered that information on his own in the first place.

“Yeah. More than one.” Ezra’s arms wrapped around himself and he drew himself further up the bed until he was leaning against the headboard. The movement drew Vin into the room until he was sitting at the foot of Ezra’s bed.

It was hard not to touch Ezra when Vin could see that he was in pain and needed comfort, but he wasn’t sure it would be appreciated. “How old were you the first time?”

Ezra’s shoulder twitched in a half shrug. “Five or six.”

“Did you tell anyone?” Vin didn’t think that he would have, but maybe Ezra had.

“No, but mother knew.”

“She saw?” That was a frightening thought and Vin suddenly wondered if Ezra had been in the system before, if he knew his way around social workers, too.

“No, but when they got divorced she didn’t ask for more money and she always asks for more. That and they settled out of court, which almost never happens with mother and her soon-to-be ex-husbands.” Ezra’s hands tightened around his own arms. “She knew. She just never said anything so I didn’t either.”

Vin edged closer to Ezra. “Maybe she didn’t know.”

“She did know.” There was no arguing with Ezra’s tone so Vin didn’t even try.

“It happened with someone else after that?”

Vin was close enough to see Ezra’s lips tilt up into a humorless smile. “I was about nine then. I told mother I didn’t like him, but she married him anyway because he was rich like all the others. She knew about that after it happened and she left him pretty quickly and extorted him out of even more money because of it.”

“Do you blame her?” Vin touched Ezra’s arm and Ezra shuddered and uncurled from his defensive position to latch onto Vin’s forearm.

“No.” But Ezra’s eyes said “yes”. Vin couldn’t take the pain anymore, couldn’t stand the distance and when he leaned in closer he suddenly found Ezra choking him in a tight and frantic hug. Ezra’s body was trembling and Vin couldn’t hold him steady, but Ezra did not cry. Maybe it was still too soon for that.

Vin didn’t want to let Ezra go, but he immediately released Ezra when he started to pull away. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’ll be here if you need me.” Ezra wouldn’t meet his eyes and he was closing off so Vin backed out of the room and returned to his own, hoping that Ezra would be able to go back to sleep and not dream. What appeared in dreams could be worse than what had really happened.

Ezra fell into a heavy sleep after Vin had left his room and didn’t allow himself to acknowledge his own embarrassment over his momentary lapse of control. He managed to force down breakfast since they insisted Ezra attempt to eat something despite the fact that eating in the morning was ridiculous. On the way to the end of the drive to wait for the school bus Ezra asked shortly, “Do you know what I meant? About what happened to me?”

Though Vin could see that Ezra was trying to be casual the question he asked was extremely important. “Yeah, I know.”

“Oh.” Ezra’s head never went down, his expression never changed and that was odd except that Vin had been there before. Never let them see that something hurt because that was a weakness they could tear wide open.

“It’s hard, always wondering what’s going to happen next.”

Ezra jerked and stopped in mid-step. “Did you – ?”

“No. My dad and granddad used to knock me around, hit me with belts, slam my head into walls and floors and such. It’s not the same, but it was still scary.” Those were things that Vin could talk about freely because he’d said them so often and they didn’t bother him as much as they once had. Other things were harder for Vin to say so he simply didn’t.

A crooked not-smile appeared on Ezra’s face, more of a grimace than anything else. “I can’t imagine that. I don’t think I could have dealt with that kind of violence.” The mere thought of being hit did not sit well with Ezra and fearing being hit – that was definitely not something he was accustomed to.

“I don’t think I could have managed being…” Vin trailed off at the look Ezra gave him and came to the conclusion that Ezra wasn’t ready to hear it just like he wasn’t ready to come out and say it. “I don’t think I could have dealt with what you went through.”

“It wasn’t bad sometimes.” It was a struggle to keep his emotions in control and Ezra knew he’d failed when Vin lowered his eyes.

What Vin saw was not an emotional display on Ezra’s part, but rather a lack of emotions so devoid of anything that it burned in the pit of his stomach. He’d blamed himself in the past for why his dad and granddad beat him and he understood that thinking. One of his therapists had told Vin that was just a way of an abuser turning it back on the victim. “Wasn’t your fault, Ezra. None of it was your fault, no matter what they told you. Nothing you did brought it on and nothing made you deserve that.” Even saying it Vin knew Ezra wouldn’t believe him – Vin hadn’t the first hundred or so times he’d heard it.

The bus came into sight and Ezra’s eyes widened suddenly and he clutched at the strap of his backpack tighter. “You aren’t going to tell anyone what I told you?”

“I won’t tell anyone.”

Ezra nodded almost to himself. “I won’t either. Tell what you told me, I mean.”

Vin couldn’t help but believe Ezra’s word. He figured there were a lot of secrets that Ezra hadn’t told over the years and he wasn’t about to break his confidence. Ezra already didn’t trust that many people if he really trusted anyone at all. Then again, maybe Ezra trusted him just a little. That thought made Vin happy.

It was lunchtime and Ezra was sitting at his usual table surrounded by his usual friends and Vin was where he always sat with Casey and JD and some other people that had nowhere else to sit. Vin decided that Ezra’s friends couldn’t be very good friends if he didn’t tell them anything about what was going on. Ezra’s expression was pleasant, distant, yet somehow –

“Hey, Vin!”

Casey’s hand waving in front of his face combined with her raised voice pulled Vin out of his thoughts. “What?”

“What’s going on with you? You keep staring at Ezra and you aren’t listening to us at all.” It was a rhetorical question because now that Casey had his attention she pressed on with, “So, is it true?”

“Is what true?” Vin asked, suspicious and more than ready to keep his promised secret.

“What happened with Ezra’s step-dad,” JD offered. “His mom killed him at their home and there was blood everywhere and she got arrested – there are different versions of it going around. Some are pretty disgusting and I’m pretty sure they aren’t true.”

Vin cringed inwardly. “Disgusting how?”

“Oh, you know, there’s one that says she killed him with an axe and chopped him up into little bits,” Casey offered, taking a large bite from her sandwich as if she wasn’t talking about a person being hacked up into pieces.

“Or the one where she slit his throat with the butcher knife.”

“Or the other one where she shot him point blank with a rifle and his guts flew out all over the wall behind him.”

Vin managed not to gag. “Seriously? All I know is that his mom killed his step-dad and that was on the news. I don’t know how he got killed and I’m not really interested in knowing.” That wasn’t entirely true, but it got them to stop asking so Vin decided that that was okay.

Neither he nor Ezra rode the bus home after school because of Ezra’s game and both Chris and Buck showed up before anything officially started. “I see they’re still warming up.” Vin barely looked over when they sat down beside him, his eyes glued to Ezra in his uniform. “You look excited. You like baseball?”

Vin was excited and trying to keep himself reasonably calm and it wasn’t working because there was Ezra being all sporty in his baseball uniform and who would have thought? “It’s okay.” Though he was beginning to think that he was going to have to start liking it if Ezra was involved in it. Basketball, too.

When Ezra wasn’t pitching or batting the game was boring and when he was on the baseball diamond it was like watching a puppet or one of those puppet-things with strings. Buck, when Vin asked, said they were marionettes. By the look on Chris’s face he hadn’t known the answer and was wondering how in the hell Buck did. Finally the game was over with Ezra’s team squeaking by with a win.

“Why don’t you go get something to drink before we leave?” Vin, who had been glancing at the concession stand turned to Chris who was holding out money for him. He’d had water that Ezra had brought to him earlier before the game started, but he’d drank that up and meticulously shredded the cup into tiny little pieces. Asking for money was one thing, but Chris was offering so what was he supposed to do? “Go ahead. We have to wait for Ezra anyway.”

“Okay.” Vin got an allowance – Chris said it was for helping out with the horses and doing whatever chores needed to be done – but he didn’t spend it. He kept it in a small change purse that had belonged to his mother in his desk drawer buried underneath papers and pencils and other school supplies. Never did know when he might need it.

Vin got his drink and was just glancing around to see where everyone was when he spotted someone he did not want to see. It Eli Joe with only three of his friends, but still more than Vin really wanted to deal with.

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” It was apparently not going to be possible to escape the situation, not with them blocking his path. “We haven’t had a chance to talk about you getting me into trouble yet.”

“I didn’t do anything, Eli.” Vin’s eyes were narrowed. “You brought it on yourself.”

Eli smirked and stepped closer. “Oh, you want to take that attitude with me? Getting brave without your little boyfriend around to protect you?”

It had been said so often that Vin barely registered the comment. “Just leave me alone already.” That never worked. Eli Joe was grabbing hold of his arm as he tried to turn away – then suddenly Ezra was there, still in his uniform and sweaty from the game.

“Excuse me.” Ezra pushed him back, stepping between Eli Joe and Vin. “Is there a problem here?”

Eli Joe’s eyes widened in surprise and he cast a smirk over Ezra’s shoulder. “What’s this? Got yourself a new boyfriend Vin? Came to watch him play, huh?”

“You appear to be very concerned about who Vin’s dating. It makes me think that you’re jealous because you like him and want to go out with him. Am I right?” There was nothing overtly malicious about Ezra’s tone of voice, but Eli Joe still backed away, holding up his hands as if to defend himself. “Why else would you be so concerned about Vin having a boyfriend or a girlfriend for that matter?”

“It’s not like that!” But the table’s had turned and several of Eli Joe’s friends were looking at him suspiciously.

Ezra stepped closer to Eli Joe, thus forcing him back farther. “Isn’t it? Then why do you target Vin almost exclusively? What need, if not jealousy and desire, could possibly be motivating you?”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!” It still made Eli Joe and his friends leave and that was good enough for Vin.

-to be continued-

Next Chapter

Date: 2007-10-12 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] farad.livejournal.com
OOHH - very nicely done! Love that Ez is opening up to Vin and vice-verse. Love that Chris and Buck overheard it - nice touch; lets them know without it having to be an issue with Vin.

I still feel sorry for JD and Casey though, what with Vin's distraction.

Love Ez defending Vin and stepping in - and doing it with such grace!

More soon, I hope????

Date: 2007-10-12 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] galain-7.livejournal.com
The scene in Ezra's bedroom broke my heart. I can't even start to imagine how Ezra might feel, but I'm glad he has Vin to talk to. And vice versa, of course.

“I did and there’s nothing we can do about the past. Now, the future, at least part of it, we can help with. Now go to sleep.”

Love Buck, always practical and hopeful.

And Ezra, coming to Vin's rescue, aww.

Date: 2007-10-13 04:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evil-jacquie.livejournal.com
I'm so glad that Vin was able to be there for Ezra when he really needed him. I know just how Buck and Chris must feel. Love it that they all went to watch him play - I hope he noticed that. Loved Ezra turning the tables on Eli Joe! And the way he did it - Ha ha ha take that Eli Joe.

Date: 2007-10-15 01:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sfulton229.livejournal.com
Another wonderful chapter. Great that Vin is there for Ezra and it was sweet the way Chris woke up when Ezra started having the nightmare. Buck is the practical one and he's right; they can only affect Ezra's future. Vin is really paying attention to Ezra and I think the feelings are started to develope between them. Ezra really trusts Vin more than anyone. They are sharing a lot of secrets. It was just perfect how Ezra routed Eli Joe but I doubt they've seen the last of him. Thanks for this part and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

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