Fic: Substitute Dreams 6/?
Oct. 18th, 2007 06:52 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
princessacadra.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
mag7fansTitle: Substitute Dreams - chapter six
Category: Delinquent AU (aka ATF Teen AU)
Characters: Vin, Ezra, Buck/Chris
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slash, mentions of child abuse, profanity
Summary: Sequel to "Delinquent" part of the Delinquent Universe which is a spin off of Mog’s ATF universe. Ezra has joined the Larabee/Wilmington/Tanner household. Life with Ezra is anything but dull.
"Chapter One", "Chapter Two", "Chapter Three", "Chapter Four", "Chapter Five"
Chapter Six
It almost went unspoken as Ezra turned back toward Vin after they watched the fairly quick retreat of Eli Joe and his friends. Almost because turning put Ezra in Vin’s space and Vin could feel the warmth of his body and smell the scent of his sweat along with whatever shampoo he’d used previously. Ezra didn’t seem to notice their closeness and Vin forced himself to mentally step back and away then force out a quick, “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. People like that just need something better to do with their time.” Ezra wasn’t even paying attention to Vin, his hand raised in a silent salute to some of his team members who were leaving. “In a way I feel sorry for them – all that hate and fear can’t be good.”
Before Vin could think of anything to say Chris and Buck appeared and Ezra moved out of his space. Two things happened very quickly after that, Chris’s hand dropping onto Ezra’s shoulder as he said, “That was a great game, Ezra,” and Ezra’s face draining of all color.
Chris’s hand pulled back immediately. “You all right? Ezra?”
“I’m fine.” Ezra had barely moved, his expression hadn’t changed, but his head had tilted up ever so slightly in order to look at Chris and the color had not yet returned to his face. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Vin glared at Chris as he recalled the three very simple rules he’d told him before – don’t touch, don’t yell, and don’t take the damn phone. They weren’t hard rules except that Vin could see how Chris’s hand twitched when he looked at Ezra. The desire to comfort was there, but he couldn’t comfort Ezra like that. “Let’s go find the truck.”
As the boys headed off toward the parking lot Buck leaned in to Chris, nudging him in the same direction. “Come on, stud.”
“Shit.” Chris’s brows furrowed into a scowl. “I just keep fucking up.”
“Didn’t know how he’d react until it happened, Chris. You can’t blame yourself for that, though you can try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” There wasn’t a whole lot Buck could say to make Chris feel any better. They’d both seen Ezra’s face and knew that the damage had already been done. “We can talk to him when we get back home and see where we can go from there.”
They went out for pizza and though Ezra did nothing to avoid Chris he also made no attempts to be near him or otherwise attract attention. That Ezra wasn’t trying to antagonize anyone or chattering away to them or on the phone was a concern on it’s own. Vin, who only talked when asked direct questions and usually never offered more than was necessary, suddenly wouldn’t shut up.
“Casey said her fishing trip with her aunt went well and that they got a whole lot of fish while they were out there. The Martin’s – that’s who JD stays with – have a new foster kid and JD says he’s sixteen or seventeen and that his name’s Gunnar.” Vin continued to talk with mostly Buck asking questions or making comments when Vin took the time to breathe, take a drink, or eat more pizza. Neither Vin nor Ezra ate all that much and Chris didn’t even manage to eat a single slice of pizza so they ended up taking most of it to go.
When they got home Buck told them, just to be sure they knew, “Pizza’s in the fridge, boys. Feel free to get some if you get hungry later. There’s also leftover lasagna, chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans, too, if you’d rather have some of that.”
Both Vin and Ezra did their homework without complaint and after Ezra had finished his homework he hurried outside while Vin and Chris worked on the rest of Vin’s homework. Chris called Ezra inside when it started to get dark and when Chris asked for Ezra to join him in the living room there was no complaint whatsoever. “Where would you like me to sit?”
That Ezra asked made Chris confused because he’d never asked before. “You can sit wherever you like.” Ezra chose to sit in one of the armchairs on the far side of the room while Chris sat down on the couch. “I didn’t mean to scare you earlier and if I did then I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t scare me.” It was impossible to read Ezra’s expression, his green eyes wandering from Chris to where Buck had entered the room and was just sitting in the armchair beside Ezra’s.
“It’s okay if you were scared, Ezra. I didn’t mean anything by it when I touched your shoulder.”
“I know.”
Talking to Ezra was like talking to a brick wall. There was no telling if anything was getting through or not. “Ezra, we just want to – ”
“Chris, move.” Vin was standing just inside the living room and apparently displeased about something. That he made such an obvious demand so firmly startled Chris into absolute stillness. “Move.”
“Excuse me?”
Vin took a breath as if to calm himself then finally said, “Chris move right there, please.” He pointed further down the couch, closer to where Ezra was seated.
There wasn’t a reason not to so Chris moved down to the end of the couch and Vin nodded to himself. “Ezra, sit here.” Vin pointed to the other end of the couch, closest to the living room’s exit.
Ezra didn’t move.
“Ezra, move over here.” When Ezra didn’t respond except to stare at him, Vin sighed and turned to Chris. “Tell him it’s okay to move.”
The frown on Chris’s face deepened but he still told Ezra, “It’s okay for you to move anywhere you want to.” When Vin pointed again Ezra slowly rose to his feet and took the most direct path to the other side of the couch. He again made no effort to avoid going near Chris, but neither did Ezra seek to be overly close to him, either.
“Okay.” Satisfied with the new arrangement Vin dropped onto the couch between Chris and Ezra then waited expectantly.
Chris cleared his throat. “We don’t want to make you uncomfortable. That’s not our intention and I want to make sure that everything is okay between us.”
“Everything’s fine.”
“Ezra!” The tone of Vin’s voice made Ezra jump ever so slightly. “Don’t lie. If you don’t like something or it makes you uncomfortable you have to let them know. How can you expect them to know if you don’t tell them?”
Ezra’s chin dipped down, but his eyes remained alert and focused upwards. “I’m not uncomfortable so there is nothing to tell.”
It was obvious to Vin that Ezra was lying even if he hadn’t seen Ezra before and the way he’d gone white as a ghost, how he’d tensed up and looked like a deer in headlights. Not that Ezra was about to break down and fess up to any of that. It was the kind of stubbornness Vin knew because he’d been there too and it made him angry that Ezra was being as hard-headed as he had been. Vin turned toward Chris and Buck and addressed them instead. “Don’t touch Ezra. Not a pat or a handshake or a nudge. Don’t get in his space and don’t trap him in any goddamn room!”
For several shocked minutes Chris didn’t say anything and when he could respond what came out was, “Vin, watch your language and tone down your voice now.”
Vin nodded at him sharply. “Sorry, but you don’t do those things.”
“Did you feel trapped earlier?” Buck asked softly Ezra, speaking for the first time during their conversation.
“No.” Nothing gave Ezra away as to whether he was telling the truth or not. Vin, however, rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and sighed dramatically in an uncharacteristic display of emotion. There were no more comments from Vin and he left the room with an air of annoyance and though Ezra watched him leave he made no move until Chris dismissed him.
Chris’s eyes darted toward Buck in a manner that clearly asked what they were going to do with that. “You remember what was said as much as I do. We aren’t just dealing with a one-time victim, Chris. He’s had to learn to cope with it somehow.”
“I like the other Ezra better.” With a sigh Chris’s head dropped into his hands. “The other one isn’t afraid of me and doesn’t… need permission to even leave a room.”
When Ezra passed into his own room Vin was waiting, ready to pounce. “Why can’t you tell them the truth?”
There was no question in Ezra’s eyes when he replied, “I did tell them the truth.” It occurred to Vin that maybe even Ezra believed his own lie and those were the worst kinds. Those kinds of lies were even harder to change a person’s thoughts and feelings about: the lie someone has learned to live.
“Well, just in case you were thinking anything different they don’t want to have sex with you. Not Buck and certainly not Chris. They aren’t messed up like that.”
The flash of fear in Ezra’s eyes gave Vin hope that maybe Ezra didn’t really believe what he said. When Ezra said, “Maybe they wouldn’t do that to you,” proved it.
“They wouldn’t do that to anyone no matter who it was.” Vin’s conviction was lost on Ezra and the next moment it didn’t seem to matter because Ezra was jumping and reaching for his cell phone that he had apparently put on vibrate.
Ezra frowned when he glanced at the unknown number that flashed on his phone before answering it. The voice on the other end of the line came as something of a shock.
“Ezra, darling! How are you doing?” Her voice sounded shaky though it had nothing to do with sadness or tears and very little to do with emotions at all.
“Mother! Are you still – I mean, what are they saying? Is Erica – ?”
“You are not supposed to be worrying about such things my dear boy. They are being handled. I have been worried about how you are getting along, though – I would have called earlier but…”
Ezra nodded to himself. “I know you would have.”
“With whom are you staying? Are you getting along with them? Are they treating you all right?”
“Everything is fine, mother. I’m staying with Chris and Buck and Vin.” He glanced briefly in Vin’s direction and saw Vin watched him intently as if looking for something that he couldn’t currently see.
“Now who are these people?”
“Chris and Buck are foster parents and they’re – they are adopting Vin. You do not have to worry about anything here. Everything is going well.”
There was a soft breath on the phone that could have been a sigh of relief or boredom. “Wonderful, darling. That is a relief.” The call was interrupted by a tinny voice telling them there was two minutes left for the call. “There is not much time left, but I wanted to make sure that you were well and that everything was going smoothly. There was a game today, was there not?”
“Yes, mother. We won.”
“Naturally, darling. Now I want you to know that no matter what happens that it will all work out. Erica is working out a plea bargain – ” The tinny voice interrupted again and told them they had only one minute left. “Well, she will come up with something. I have to go shortly. Just remember that I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I will call again as soon as I can. Goodbye, darling boy and take care of yourself.”
“Bye.” Ezra closed the phone and dropped it to the floor suddenly weary.
Vin edged over to Ezra and sat down on the floor near where Ezra had slid down to the floor while talking on the phone. “How’s she doing?”
“She said okay but she’s not doing well. She’s got the shakes and probably the hallucinations and paranoia that goes along with it.” He picked at the phone while he talked, staring blankly at the time displayed on the flip phone.
It didn’t make sense unless Ezra’s mom wasn’t all there – like schizophrenic or something – and he’d known kids whose parents were the same way. “What do you mean?”
Ezra stretched, arching his back as he visually pictured what his mother – as beautiful and elegant as she usually was – must look like now in prison clothing and trembling. “Withdrawal, she’s going through withdrawal. Believe me, it’s not pretty when she’s detoxing.”
Now that made sense. There were countless kids that Vin knew whose parents were on some type of drugs and they knew all the warning signs and personality changes that went along with it. “Detoxing from what?”
Ezra snorted, his eyes clearing. “It’d probably be easier to say what she isn’t withdrawing from – Xanax, Codeine, cocaine, alcohol, whatever she can get. She swore she didn’t shoot up anymore except she always has fresh track lines, but she’s more stable when she’s on them then when she isn’t so I kept giving her money.”
“You give your mother money?”
“Everything’s in my name – all of our money, property, stocks, bonds, everything is mine in care of our lawyer, Erica. It’s so if someone tries to sue mother or in case of another divorce gone wrong it means that they can’t get anything because mother doesn’t have anything.” Ezra paused, his head tilting to one side. “It’s also so she won’t spend everything on drugs. Or gambling.”
The safest thing to say was, “You must miss her.”
“I do.” It didn’t matter how many times she might have screwed up and made bad decisions that had gotten Ezra hurt again and again. Vin knew that. It didn’t matter if she had screamed at him or threatened to kill him or beat him until he was unconscious because that was still his mother and she always would be. Nothing would ever change that.
-to be continued-
Next Chapter
Category: Delinquent AU (aka ATF Teen AU)
Characters: Vin, Ezra, Buck/Chris
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slash, mentions of child abuse, profanity
Summary: Sequel to "Delinquent" part of the Delinquent Universe which is a spin off of Mog’s ATF universe. Ezra has joined the Larabee/Wilmington/Tanner household. Life with Ezra is anything but dull.
"Chapter One", "Chapter Two", "Chapter Three", "Chapter Four", "Chapter Five"
Chapter Six
It almost went unspoken as Ezra turned back toward Vin after they watched the fairly quick retreat of Eli Joe and his friends. Almost because turning put Ezra in Vin’s space and Vin could feel the warmth of his body and smell the scent of his sweat along with whatever shampoo he’d used previously. Ezra didn’t seem to notice their closeness and Vin forced himself to mentally step back and away then force out a quick, “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. People like that just need something better to do with their time.” Ezra wasn’t even paying attention to Vin, his hand raised in a silent salute to some of his team members who were leaving. “In a way I feel sorry for them – all that hate and fear can’t be good.”
Before Vin could think of anything to say Chris and Buck appeared and Ezra moved out of his space. Two things happened very quickly after that, Chris’s hand dropping onto Ezra’s shoulder as he said, “That was a great game, Ezra,” and Ezra’s face draining of all color.
Chris’s hand pulled back immediately. “You all right? Ezra?”
“I’m fine.” Ezra had barely moved, his expression hadn’t changed, but his head had tilted up ever so slightly in order to look at Chris and the color had not yet returned to his face. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Vin glared at Chris as he recalled the three very simple rules he’d told him before – don’t touch, don’t yell, and don’t take the damn phone. They weren’t hard rules except that Vin could see how Chris’s hand twitched when he looked at Ezra. The desire to comfort was there, but he couldn’t comfort Ezra like that. “Let’s go find the truck.”
As the boys headed off toward the parking lot Buck leaned in to Chris, nudging him in the same direction. “Come on, stud.”
“Shit.” Chris’s brows furrowed into a scowl. “I just keep fucking up.”
“Didn’t know how he’d react until it happened, Chris. You can’t blame yourself for that, though you can try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” There wasn’t a whole lot Buck could say to make Chris feel any better. They’d both seen Ezra’s face and knew that the damage had already been done. “We can talk to him when we get back home and see where we can go from there.”
They went out for pizza and though Ezra did nothing to avoid Chris he also made no attempts to be near him or otherwise attract attention. That Ezra wasn’t trying to antagonize anyone or chattering away to them or on the phone was a concern on it’s own. Vin, who only talked when asked direct questions and usually never offered more than was necessary, suddenly wouldn’t shut up.
“Casey said her fishing trip with her aunt went well and that they got a whole lot of fish while they were out there. The Martin’s – that’s who JD stays with – have a new foster kid and JD says he’s sixteen or seventeen and that his name’s Gunnar.” Vin continued to talk with mostly Buck asking questions or making comments when Vin took the time to breathe, take a drink, or eat more pizza. Neither Vin nor Ezra ate all that much and Chris didn’t even manage to eat a single slice of pizza so they ended up taking most of it to go.
When they got home Buck told them, just to be sure they knew, “Pizza’s in the fridge, boys. Feel free to get some if you get hungry later. There’s also leftover lasagna, chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans, too, if you’d rather have some of that.”
Both Vin and Ezra did their homework without complaint and after Ezra had finished his homework he hurried outside while Vin and Chris worked on the rest of Vin’s homework. Chris called Ezra inside when it started to get dark and when Chris asked for Ezra to join him in the living room there was no complaint whatsoever. “Where would you like me to sit?”
That Ezra asked made Chris confused because he’d never asked before. “You can sit wherever you like.” Ezra chose to sit in one of the armchairs on the far side of the room while Chris sat down on the couch. “I didn’t mean to scare you earlier and if I did then I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t scare me.” It was impossible to read Ezra’s expression, his green eyes wandering from Chris to where Buck had entered the room and was just sitting in the armchair beside Ezra’s.
“It’s okay if you were scared, Ezra. I didn’t mean anything by it when I touched your shoulder.”
“I know.”
Talking to Ezra was like talking to a brick wall. There was no telling if anything was getting through or not. “Ezra, we just want to – ”
“Chris, move.” Vin was standing just inside the living room and apparently displeased about something. That he made such an obvious demand so firmly startled Chris into absolute stillness. “Move.”
“Excuse me?”
Vin took a breath as if to calm himself then finally said, “Chris move right there, please.” He pointed further down the couch, closer to where Ezra was seated.
There wasn’t a reason not to so Chris moved down to the end of the couch and Vin nodded to himself. “Ezra, sit here.” Vin pointed to the other end of the couch, closest to the living room’s exit.
Ezra didn’t move.
“Ezra, move over here.” When Ezra didn’t respond except to stare at him, Vin sighed and turned to Chris. “Tell him it’s okay to move.”
The frown on Chris’s face deepened but he still told Ezra, “It’s okay for you to move anywhere you want to.” When Vin pointed again Ezra slowly rose to his feet and took the most direct path to the other side of the couch. He again made no effort to avoid going near Chris, but neither did Ezra seek to be overly close to him, either.
“Okay.” Satisfied with the new arrangement Vin dropped onto the couch between Chris and Ezra then waited expectantly.
Chris cleared his throat. “We don’t want to make you uncomfortable. That’s not our intention and I want to make sure that everything is okay between us.”
“Everything’s fine.”
“Ezra!” The tone of Vin’s voice made Ezra jump ever so slightly. “Don’t lie. If you don’t like something or it makes you uncomfortable you have to let them know. How can you expect them to know if you don’t tell them?”
Ezra’s chin dipped down, but his eyes remained alert and focused upwards. “I’m not uncomfortable so there is nothing to tell.”
It was obvious to Vin that Ezra was lying even if he hadn’t seen Ezra before and the way he’d gone white as a ghost, how he’d tensed up and looked like a deer in headlights. Not that Ezra was about to break down and fess up to any of that. It was the kind of stubbornness Vin knew because he’d been there too and it made him angry that Ezra was being as hard-headed as he had been. Vin turned toward Chris and Buck and addressed them instead. “Don’t touch Ezra. Not a pat or a handshake or a nudge. Don’t get in his space and don’t trap him in any goddamn room!”
For several shocked minutes Chris didn’t say anything and when he could respond what came out was, “Vin, watch your language and tone down your voice now.”
Vin nodded at him sharply. “Sorry, but you don’t do those things.”
“Did you feel trapped earlier?” Buck asked softly Ezra, speaking for the first time during their conversation.
“No.” Nothing gave Ezra away as to whether he was telling the truth or not. Vin, however, rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and sighed dramatically in an uncharacteristic display of emotion. There were no more comments from Vin and he left the room with an air of annoyance and though Ezra watched him leave he made no move until Chris dismissed him.
Chris’s eyes darted toward Buck in a manner that clearly asked what they were going to do with that. “You remember what was said as much as I do. We aren’t just dealing with a one-time victim, Chris. He’s had to learn to cope with it somehow.”
“I like the other Ezra better.” With a sigh Chris’s head dropped into his hands. “The other one isn’t afraid of me and doesn’t… need permission to even leave a room.”
When Ezra passed into his own room Vin was waiting, ready to pounce. “Why can’t you tell them the truth?”
There was no question in Ezra’s eyes when he replied, “I did tell them the truth.” It occurred to Vin that maybe even Ezra believed his own lie and those were the worst kinds. Those kinds of lies were even harder to change a person’s thoughts and feelings about: the lie someone has learned to live.
“Well, just in case you were thinking anything different they don’t want to have sex with you. Not Buck and certainly not Chris. They aren’t messed up like that.”
The flash of fear in Ezra’s eyes gave Vin hope that maybe Ezra didn’t really believe what he said. When Ezra said, “Maybe they wouldn’t do that to you,” proved it.
“They wouldn’t do that to anyone no matter who it was.” Vin’s conviction was lost on Ezra and the next moment it didn’t seem to matter because Ezra was jumping and reaching for his cell phone that he had apparently put on vibrate.
Ezra frowned when he glanced at the unknown number that flashed on his phone before answering it. The voice on the other end of the line came as something of a shock.
“Ezra, darling! How are you doing?” Her voice sounded shaky though it had nothing to do with sadness or tears and very little to do with emotions at all.
“Mother! Are you still – I mean, what are they saying? Is Erica – ?”
“You are not supposed to be worrying about such things my dear boy. They are being handled. I have been worried about how you are getting along, though – I would have called earlier but…”
Ezra nodded to himself. “I know you would have.”
“With whom are you staying? Are you getting along with them? Are they treating you all right?”
“Everything is fine, mother. I’m staying with Chris and Buck and Vin.” He glanced briefly in Vin’s direction and saw Vin watched him intently as if looking for something that he couldn’t currently see.
“Now who are these people?”
“Chris and Buck are foster parents and they’re – they are adopting Vin. You do not have to worry about anything here. Everything is going well.”
There was a soft breath on the phone that could have been a sigh of relief or boredom. “Wonderful, darling. That is a relief.” The call was interrupted by a tinny voice telling them there was two minutes left for the call. “There is not much time left, but I wanted to make sure that you were well and that everything was going smoothly. There was a game today, was there not?”
“Yes, mother. We won.”
“Naturally, darling. Now I want you to know that no matter what happens that it will all work out. Erica is working out a plea bargain – ” The tinny voice interrupted again and told them they had only one minute left. “Well, she will come up with something. I have to go shortly. Just remember that I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I will call again as soon as I can. Goodbye, darling boy and take care of yourself.”
“Bye.” Ezra closed the phone and dropped it to the floor suddenly weary.
Vin edged over to Ezra and sat down on the floor near where Ezra had slid down to the floor while talking on the phone. “How’s she doing?”
“She said okay but she’s not doing well. She’s got the shakes and probably the hallucinations and paranoia that goes along with it.” He picked at the phone while he talked, staring blankly at the time displayed on the flip phone.
It didn’t make sense unless Ezra’s mom wasn’t all there – like schizophrenic or something – and he’d known kids whose parents were the same way. “What do you mean?”
Ezra stretched, arching his back as he visually pictured what his mother – as beautiful and elegant as she usually was – must look like now in prison clothing and trembling. “Withdrawal, she’s going through withdrawal. Believe me, it’s not pretty when she’s detoxing.”
Now that made sense. There were countless kids that Vin knew whose parents were on some type of drugs and they knew all the warning signs and personality changes that went along with it. “Detoxing from what?”
Ezra snorted, his eyes clearing. “It’d probably be easier to say what she isn’t withdrawing from – Xanax, Codeine, cocaine, alcohol, whatever she can get. She swore she didn’t shoot up anymore except she always has fresh track lines, but she’s more stable when she’s on them then when she isn’t so I kept giving her money.”
“You give your mother money?”
“Everything’s in my name – all of our money, property, stocks, bonds, everything is mine in care of our lawyer, Erica. It’s so if someone tries to sue mother or in case of another divorce gone wrong it means that they can’t get anything because mother doesn’t have anything.” Ezra paused, his head tilting to one side. “It’s also so she won’t spend everything on drugs. Or gambling.”
The safest thing to say was, “You must miss her.”
“I do.” It didn’t matter how many times she might have screwed up and made bad decisions that had gotten Ezra hurt again and again. Vin knew that. It didn’t matter if she had screamed at him or threatened to kill him or beat him until he was unconscious because that was still his mother and she always would be. Nothing would ever change that.
-to be continued-
Next Chapter
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-10-18 01:33 pm (UTC)Very nice touch, having Maude call and Ez confide in Vin about her call.
I'm waiting more impatiently for more!!!
no subject
Date: 2007-10-19 10:27 am (UTC)The language gets choppy during the call and I was worried it wouldn't sound right, but since that was how it was supposed to sound I guess it worked. lol Ah, modern-day Maude, what have you gotten yourself and Ezra into?
no subject
Date: 2007-10-19 11:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-18 02:48 pm (UTC)Chris doesn't know how to deal with Ezra, especially since he connected immediately with Vin. It must be frustrating for him not being able to help like he would like to.
And I love Vin taking charge and getting angry with Chris for forgetting the rules.
I'm loving this more and more.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-19 10:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-19 05:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-19 10:53 am (UTC)